june 7- first "in the nicu" post

my heart breaks every time I look at her hooked up to all of those monitors. I just can hardly bear it. I'm not sure how much is post-partum emotion, or just plain shock... I miss feeling her kicks in my belly... and I feel so guilty that my body couldn't take care of her- that I couldn't tar care of her! it is so very frustrating to see her in that box... and not being able to hold her- nurse her- comfort her... I just want so badly for her to be comfortable and happy. I cry every time I go visit.

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