april 29- 22w3d

here's the belly! i'm always taking these impromptu pictures while thadd and i are sitting around at night... i need to actually take some when we're on our way out somewhere so i'll look decent for once! i'll work on some better pictures of me this week.

april 28- Y is for yay! yipee! and yeast infections!

it has begun! i was plagued with these last time around... but i've been fortunate so far to not experience them....

i think i might be on the verge now.... ick. time for the probiotics!

april 27- a blog i stole from someone

this really hit home... hope you enjoy it!

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I need to publicly apologize to every woman who has ever been pregnant since the dawn of time.

We have mocked you. DH and I. Relentlessly. What’s with the sweatpants? Why are you waddling? Stop touching your belly like it is precious!

I’m sorry. I’m not waddling yet but I always thought it was just laziness that made pregnant women waddle. Now I know that your hips feel like they are an extra 10 inches apart and you have a log between your knees. I have to feel like I’m walking pigeon-toed to be walking normal! And your hips just hurt. They are definitely moving around and just don’t seem to sit right anymore. And, I’m not even big yet!

My belly is precious! I love touching it. It is like stroking my baby and sending her waves of love from my hand inside. It isn’t to get attention from anyone but my baby.

Sweatpants…ok I still think this is terrible. Wearing sweatpants in public if you aren’t going to the gym should be punishable by 5 years community service. Seriously, there is no reason not to look good when you are pregnant. There are lots of elastic waist pants that aren’t sweatpants - get some! Sweatpants are for home and gym - that’s it!

That brings me to another pet peeve. I hate when pregnant women say “oh, I’m so fat. I look so ugly. My husband must be so turned off.” SHUT UP. You aren’t fat, you are building a human being. Remember those layers of fat are gifts from Heaven to ensure your survival and that of your baby. You don’t look ugly, you look pregnant. A belly huge with life is more beautiful than a flat belly full of celery and diet coke. If your husband thinks you look ugly then he is a jerk. I’m sorry, pure and simple. Your husband should be enamored of your beautiful body and the amazing miracle it is producing. Seriously, if your husband is that callous of a person are you sure you want him to father your daughters? What you think about effects how you feel and what you do. So, shut up and stop saying you are fat.

I am the culmination and continuation of centuries of motherhood. I am nature at its best. Round and lush and beaming with the miracle of life. You are too. Don’t forget it.

Even when you waddle.

april 26- ultrasound pics up!

down at the bottom on the left hand side. enjoy!
more to come on the 15th!

april 26- belly kwan do

these kicks are getting pretty powerful! i guess she's not big enough to be cramped yet- so she's really going to town doing twirls or something in there. it just really started picking up the last few days. my belly has actually started moving a little bit randomly... i know there's definitely more of that to come!
i'm super excited to be able to share this with thadd though... he really lights up when he gets to feel good solid kicks... which makes it not so unbearable for me... until he loses interest... and goes to sleep... and i'm still getting kicked in the bladder.... then it's not as cool.... :)

april 26- it's been a while since we had an awkward discussion

so i thought i would blog today about bowel movements. having worked at a colon and rectal clinic i have a great knowledge and understanding of the waste disposal process, and problems that can arise in those areas. ( you wouldn't believe what people tell the RECEPTIONIST!)
this topic is mostly amusing to me because no one really has conversations about their bowels. (no one under 65 anyway...) and no one addresses bowel health before it becomes an issue. yes, we all have bowels, and most of us, at one time or another have had a problem that we were too embarrassed to talk about. am i right?
well, i have a bowel health issue... and i'm here to discuss it. (though, if you talk to me about it in person i have full deniability of this post. :)
i have had diarrhea for the past 22 weeks. yipee! let me tell you... i thought hemorrhoids from constipation were bad- and they are- but these are ranking right up there with those! with max i think i went to the bathroom like twice in 20 weeks. now i'm painfully regular. it's a WEIRD experience! and most everyone i talk to had/has the whole constipation issue, and is really clueless about this. of course, the answer from my doc is,"that can be normal"... just like every other symptom i have! it's just different for everyone i suppose. apparently with a boy i'll be stopped up and miserable, and with a girl i'll be running for the nearest restroom! haha! (i wonder how accurate that test will be?)
if i had to pick... (as if i have a choice in the matter)... i would pick this problem over the opposite one.... at least i don't feel any more bloated than i have to- what, with all the extra stuff crammed into my abdomen by the end of this: 7lb baby, 2lb placenta, 2lb amniotic fluid, 2lb uterus, 5lb blood, 4lb fluids, 7lbs just plain fatness.... i suppose those numbers are on the low end... the fattiness rate is at a risk to go up a bit. :)
and here's a cartoon to make light of a heavy situation:

april 20- "the bed pal"

isn't this what husband's are for? :)

april 20- appointment today (on thadd's birthday-what a present)

so, here's the new news.

bp- good
fundal height- 21 (perfect)
weight- +5lbs (wow, better cut back on the cheetos!)
fetal heart rate-good

anti-D antibody update- it's continuing to go down. it's definitely because of the shot i got in jan. YAY!!!

today i had a TON of questions for my doctor. here's the overview:

-can i do shots in my butt? this was SO funny. when i asked her this question she sort of looked at me a little sad and said, "well, usually not because it has to go into fat, not muscle." to which i replied, "have you seen my butt?"... haha! like it's all muscled out or something. i assured her that, yes, i could find a chunk of fat on my butt to put the injection in. how hilarious! muscle. ha!
-what can i do for hemorrhoids? good 'ol tucks and prep H. here i come!
-what can i do about peeing myself when i sneeze? yeah. so this happened to me the other day. sheesh! i was like "isn't this supposed to be AFTER i have the kid????!!!" but, alas, she said it's really normal due to the shifting of my uterus on the urethra. apparently that weakens the mechanism which keeps us from regularly wetting ourselves. nice, huh? (don't worry, it was only a drop!) haha..
-how will my APS affect my labor? it shouldn't affect it at all! i should be able to have natural childbirth, (as natural as i want it :)... short of pitocin to induce the labor initially.
-why will i be induced? this is mainly for control of my blood thinners. they don't want me to go into labor unplanned and still be taking my regular dosage of blood thinner. being induced, in and of itself will raise my risk of having to have a c-section. i'm totally against this (unless it's necessary), and thadd's with me on it. we really want to do what we can to avoid this. we may decide not to be induced depending on wren's health, my health, and further research.
-sexy pelvic brace- it works like a charm!!! (not so much for sexiness, but for pelvic pain.) and yes, kate, i'm going to wear it! my pelvic pain has been intermittently TERRIBLE. i've heard from some of the ladies i know that this is just caused by the weight of the baby on my pelvic bone. i don't know if wren is just low or what, but sometimes i just can't get rid of this pain! i recommend this "hip band" for all ladies who have this pain. it's amazing!
-cystic fibrosis screening? i haven't taken it yet, but i'll take it this week.
-blood thinning test? did one test today, and will have one every few weeks.
-am i at risk for preterm labor? not any more likely than the average pregnant woman. which means be aware of my body, but i don't have to fret about it.
-at what weeks can i relax about the baby's health? she said that at 24 weeks i can breath a very small sigh of relief. this is when the baby is considered "viable". at 29 weeks the lungs are much more developed and wren will have a much better outlook for her health- this is a small sigh of relief. at 32 weeks i can breath a real sigh of relief! this is pretty much the same as 40 for the baby. all the organs will be developed and the prognosis is just as good! yay!
-should i make any preparations for early delivery? she said i should go ahead and do the walk-through at labor and delivery in the next month or so... so we're going to plan on that. also, we're doing hypno-babies... and we're ordering that this next week to get started early.

that's the new news! thanks for caring... thanks for prayers!

april 19- a happy day

today wren is starting week 21. most of you know this was the week that max died. we had already found out that there were problems in week 20... and by a few days into week 21 he was gone.

as i look forward to meeting wren, and the rest of the pregnancy... i now have a confidence that i didn't have before... and a hope that maybe, just maybe, everything could turn out ok. i don't think i'll be at peace with having her until i hold her in my arms- and then, i'm sure, a whole new set of worries will be on my heart! :)

tonight we spoke in our small group about prayer, what it is, why we do it, what it can accomplish. in the end i know that god's will supersedes my own... and that whatever is supposed to happen is just exactly what happens. i pray daily for the health of my daughter, hoping that god will see to her safety (and salvation someday). what an amazing avenue we have in prayer! most importantly for me now, i realize that i can cause a change in situations through my pleas to the lord, and that i can give my worries to him. it doesn't do me a bit of good to lose sleep worrying about this little bird.... but it does give me peace to come to that understanding. only god can see to the outcome of our situation.
with that in mind i ask that you all continue in faithful prayers for our wren. (and me too i suppose) that we can make it through as long as possible without any complications. more importantly though, that we can have peace and reliance on the will of our lord.

april 17- wren eliza

she's officially a person now right? she has a name! bring on the baby gear!

april 16- get ready for pink!

today we found out you're a girl!

we've already transitioned in our minds to being the parents of a girl, and how that will be different. (although i'm sure there will be more adjusting mentally to be done over time.) we were really in the mindset of parenting a boy. just because that's what we'd always hoped to have first... and then knowing that max was a boy... it's just different to think "we're having a girl!
but it is also exciting. it comes with so many different opportunities and challenges. we can't wait to get started.

here's the overview:

-everything's PERFECT! literally every aspect of the ultrasound was 100% normal. as though i didn't have APS at all! we couldn't have asked for a better result.
-the quad screen came back negative. (it's not that trustworthy anyway... but good news nonetheless)
-the only thing that didn't measure over 20 weeks was the femur. when i asked if that was ok, the lady doing the ultrasound laughed and mentioned that neither one of us are very tall anyway. hehe.. so it makes sense that our kids would be shorter.
-all the organs were good. spinal cord good. brain good. placenta good. cord good.
- she weighs a pound now. how exciting! she weighs already more than max did when he was born. it's hard for me to think about... but... it makes me happy too. just to know that she's so much healthier than poor max was.

she spent the majority of the time doing flips and putting her hand to her face. she also had her mouth open almost the whole time! i guess she'll be like me someday! (or maybe like her daddy- singing all the time.)

we have some really cute pictures that i hope to have up by mid-next week. thadd says she looks like me already. (her feet definitely do! i have long skinny toes.. thadd's feet are...well... a bit more hobbit-ish. :) which is funny because max, even at 21 weeks really did look like a morris. we both think he looked a bit more like thadd's brother, titus, than thadd... but still, he looked a lot like his dad. (and he had hobbit feet and connected earlobes just like his dad for sure!) so i guess, time will tell. she would look a little weird if she came out looking just like her male relatives... i think there's some sort of general rule about that... hopefully the girls will look like girls, and the boys boys. :)

after the ultrasound we went to borders to pick out a book. for max we picked out "where the wild things are". (this was one of my favorites!) for this little girl we got "oh the places you'll go".... another favorite of ours. (though thadd is a little worried about gender ambiguity. it says "guy" a few times. i think it's probably ok for a girl too.)



thanks so much for all of your prayers and well wishes. i know that they truly made a difference. now i'm just taking it 4 weeks at a time from here. i'll have my next ultrasounds at 4 weeks apart. then after 30 weeks, i'll have non-stress tests twice weekly and ultrasounds weekly. they'll induce me if any clots show up to save the baby...or, on the terrible off chance i get eclampsia again, to save me. full term for me will be about 38-39 weeks... which will change my delivery date to somewhere close to the august 23.

april 15- 11:47 pm

i'm sooo nervous! i can't wait until tomorrow. i hope and pray that this baby is healthy. :/ my stomach is in knots.

april 14- hair success!

in the form of tresemme deep cleansing. i recommend this for people with naturally nasty hair- or those of you who may be pregnant. :)
after WEEKS of disgusting bacon grease hair i finally can get out of the shower, blow dry my hair, and fix it. it's a step towards not feeling absolutely revolting all the time.
AND this shampoo only cost $2!! (of course i try this one after trying several others that cost way more!)

april 13- er.... "an" ultrasound

don't forget- it's this thursday at 8am hawaii time. so then we'll know about the health, which is of course the most important aspect of the visit. but also, the sex!!!
and maybe, if you're lucky, we'll have a name!!!
stay tuned....

april 11- come on

i thought for sure the shaving post would get some comments.... :)

april 9- 19w4d

the belly bulge.

(and thadd's "i work night shift window blackout". at least its not trashy from the outside. :)

april 9- confession:

i officially found the awkward hair a few days ago. it was in what could be considered the "beard zone"... if i were a man. :/ i actually pulled it out... gasped at its amazing length... then had to show thadd. this immediately sent me to the mirror to do a hair check in my "beard zone". i was aghast to find that it, unfortunately, wasn't alone. it had many friends.
so what's a girl to do when she's got long, bright blond, peach fuzz in her "beard zone"? shave it off-of course! (trust me, it seemed like a good idea at the time.) i busted out thadd's gillette fusion and went to town. (i didn't lower myself to actually lathering up with shaving cream.. don't worry.)
it fixed the immediate problem. (and incidentally it left my skin feeling silky smooth.) it does leave me in a slight predicament though... am i going to make this a routine?
:)

april 5- i want to go to there:

now taking donations. help the pregnant woman sleep.


thadd's going to have to sleep on the couch... but if it means that i can sleep too... well... it may have to be a sacrifice he's going to have to make. :)
right now i'm sleeping with 3 pillows. 2 king size and 1 regular. i really need about 2 more to successfully pull off comfort. (well, until i have to switch sides, then all bets are off.) i'm typically a back sleeper. and every time i wake up i'm on my back. (typically 4-5 times a night) this kid is getting heavy.. and now it actually wakes me up when i've accidentally rolled onto my back.:/

april 5- i'm sure you're dying for an update

my appointment on friday went well. here's the stuff:

bp was good
weight +1lb
baby morris heartbeat doing good
fundal height -1u (i think that's what she said)

my blood didn't come back as thin as they'd like, so she sent in a change on my shots. now i'll be giving myself 2 per day at 30 iu each. (instead of 1 at 40iu) yay for more shots. i mentioned again that it seems to REALLY be hurting lately when i give myself a shot. she basically said that i'm probably turning my belly to hamburger, and that i can feel free to switch to my inner thigh or arm fat. no thanks. i'll stick it out for as long as i can grab hold of something on my middle.

my ultrasound is still set for april 16, so stay tuned to see whether it will be a little ms. morris, or little mr. morris.

as far as the imaginary ice pick that has been randomly jabbed into my crotch, (read:pelvic pain), she said that i can tie something around my waist. she suggested possibly a bedsheet. it doesn't always work for everyone, but if it does they can get me a more formal brace/wrap that will in essence hold the pelvis together. yay! i tried it the other day and it was amazing how much relief it gave. the doc said that it isn't normal to have it so early, but its not a bad sign or anything-just different. (like everything else i've had happen to me!)

the anti-d is most likely the result of the rhogam shot i got in jan. she suggested that in an email earlier last week, but confirmed it in the appt. they'll continue to test me until i register a 0 on the test.

i got a pee test. woo-hoo. everything looks fine there. same with all the bloodwork.

my weight is ok. she said she's not concerned that i'm not gaining much weight.... for my size i can safely gain about 15 pounds on the low side, 30 or so on the high side, before they would worry. it is just odd though, because i've been eating like a heifer. (i have a RAVENOUS appetite now...) i honestly have no idea how i haven't gained 30 lbs already. i brace for it every time i step on the scale!

the kicks are getting more pronounced, particularly after i eat. this kid likes some food... the spicier the better!

the doc did mention "wow, you're really showing now!" when she was taking the heartbeat. i realized this before she told me, since nothing i own fits... including the maternity clothes.

i'll be posting a few more interesting topics in the next day or so.. but for now... i'm exhausted!!!! off to nap.