today wren is starting week 21. most of you know this was the week that max died. we had already found out that there were problems in week 20... and by a few days into week 21 he was gone.
as i look forward to meeting wren, and the rest of the pregnancy... i now have a confidence that i didn't have before... and a hope that maybe, just maybe, everything could turn out ok. i don't think i'll be at peace with having her until i hold her in my arms- and then, i'm sure, a whole new set of worries will be on my heart! :)
tonight we spoke in our small group about prayer, what it is, why we do it, what it can accomplish. in the end i know that god's will supersedes my own... and that whatever is supposed to happen is just exactly what happens. i pray daily for the health of my daughter, hoping that god will see to her safety (and salvation someday). what an amazing avenue we have in prayer! most importantly for me now, i realize that i can cause a change in situations through my pleas to the lord, and that i can give my worries to him. it doesn't do me a bit of good to lose sleep worrying about this little bird.... but it does give me peace to come to that understanding. only god can see to the outcome of our situation.
with that in mind i ask that you all continue in faithful prayers for our wren. (and me too i suppose) that we can make it through as long as possible without any complications. more importantly though, that we can have peace and reliance on the will of our lord.