so, today was my growth scan... and we didn't exactly hear what we wanted to. we'll start with the good news:
wren's organs are all fine. kidneys, heart, brain etc. everything is where it should be, doing what it should be doing. :) what a blessing!!!
her stomach is measuring right on target for gestational age. the doctor (not the normal high risk i see, but the one over her who monitors my case) said that babies in stress typically measure small around the belly, and larger in the head. this is because all of the nutrients go to the brain/heart, and they don't put on the belly weight. so it's a good sign that her belly is round.
her blood flow to all of her organs is good. as well as the blood flow through the umbilical cord to her. (this was how we lost max, a blood clot in the umbilical cord.)
the placenta is fine, and all the fluid is at normal levels.
she measured in the 18% today. they said they don't start to worry until babies get under the 10% range.
thadd and i both were small babies... so she has this going for her. if she continues the "growth arc", and just stays a little smaller than normal, but growing... then everything is peachy!
my monitoring will now be a growth scan every other week... and doppler ultrasounds twice a week.
the bad news:
every other measurement (other than the stomach) is about 1-2 weeks under size. the doctor said that this is due to my APS. of course it is no surprise. we expected that she would have growth restriction at some point. we just wish it wasn't showing up so early. if you remember, at the first ultrasound she measured perfectly! which is think is one of the reasons they know that things aren't as they should be.
at my next ultrasound, in 2 weeks, should wren's growth not show the "arc" that they want they will decide a course of action. this could mean one of 2 things. 1) outpatient steroids, with even closer monitoring and possible c-section following at some time. 2) being admitted to the hospital for 24 hour monitoring and given steroids and having a c-section.
the other good news:
the doc said that she could totally make it. she seemed really positive that everything would be ok if they did have to take her so soon. (even now.) of course there are risks, and problems... but with wren having no other problems there's a good chance for her. especially at 27-28 weeks!
it is a bit of a shock for me though... to think... that i could have this little girl in 3 weeks... i don't really know how to process that information! i'm not all that worried about her, i think she'll be ok. i'm not letting myself think about all the complications of coming so early. but, more just the fact that i thought i was going to have about 3 more months... and now it could be 3 weeks! wow. (i need to unpack my house, clean, decorate, clean, buy baby stuff, clean, unpack some more, rest up, and get ready for a possible hospital stay, followed by weeks of visiting my little bird in the nicu. :/)
we got several really cute pictures. thadd's convinced that she has my chin-poor girl! and we even got a 3d one. the tech got some cute shots, but printed out one that wasn't my favorite. (thadd said that wren looked a little like the elephant man.hehe...) but it was really neat to see her in 3d! give me a week to get the pictures up. my house is a wreck (from moving this past weekend.) and i'm still having to use someone else's scanner to scan them in! (my stupid "all in one" clearly doesn't include "scanning" according to the common definition!)
i'll continue my lovenox at 60mg/day and baby aspirin. you guys continue in prayer...
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
5.04.2009
may 4- gender disappointment
... i'm feeling a little uneasy about having a little girl. i thought i was ready, that i'd flipped the switch in my mind. but as i get closer and closer, and feel more of her kicks... it becomes more "real"... and i'm just not so sure.
the other day i bought wren's first outfit. (much to the chagrin of her gigi- i'm counting THIS as her first outfit... i'm the mommy, i can do that!) when i walked into the baby section, this time, just like all the previous times, my eye is immediately drawn to the little boy stuff. as i made myself turn and go into the girl section (which is ALWAYS much larger!) i was brought to tears... looking at all the adorable outfits with frills and flowers. i had to stifle the tears (being that i was in public) but came to the conclusion that i was definitely not at peace with having a girl yet.
of course, little girl stuff is cute, and i can relate to a little girl... blah blah blah. but when it comes right down to it, i really wanted a boy. there, i said it. i wanted a boy.
1) just plain, being in "boy mode". when we were pregnant with max, thadd got me SO worried about having a boy. (unintentionally of course!) but he really wanted a boy and talked about "him" all the time. then, max was a boy! and we were ready for having a boy! and we looked at all the boy stuff, and talked about rites of passage, and things we were going to do with him. (thadd is really into "raising boys" and has read just about EVERY book on the subject.) so, when we got pregnant again, (even though we both thought right off the bat it was a girl), i just assumed it would be a boy again.
2) that somehow, it would lessen the loss of max if i could have another son. that the hole in my heart could be filled by another little boy. realistically i know that this is crazy... and that max will always have a special place in my heart... can anyone relate to this? do you know what i mean? i guess that it is just an "unmet expectation".... it's an open ended chapter in my life. i
guess numbers 1 & 2 are really part of the same.
thadd, on the other hand, really has made the switch! (and originally he was the one who wanted the boy!) he's talking about tea parties and dating rules and all sorts of stuff. he's rubbing my belly and singing to her and feeling the kicks and watching my belly bounce when she's going crazy in there. it's helping me to be more excited, and i'm thankful to him for that. (he even wants to go clothes shopping... he points out the cute stuff.)
overall, i know we are extremely blessed to have this little bird and we are truly happy that she is healthy. gender disappointment is stupid. and as soon as i'm over it, i'll let you know.
the other day i bought wren's first outfit. (much to the chagrin of her gigi- i'm counting THIS as her first outfit... i'm the mommy, i can do that!) when i walked into the baby section, this time, just like all the previous times, my eye is immediately drawn to the little boy stuff. as i made myself turn and go into the girl section (which is ALWAYS much larger!) i was brought to tears... looking at all the adorable outfits with frills and flowers. i had to stifle the tears (being that i was in public) but came to the conclusion that i was definitely not at peace with having a girl yet.
of course, little girl stuff is cute, and i can relate to a little girl... blah blah blah. but when it comes right down to it, i really wanted a boy. there, i said it. i wanted a boy.
1) just plain, being in "boy mode". when we were pregnant with max, thadd got me SO worried about having a boy. (unintentionally of course!) but he really wanted a boy and talked about "him" all the time. then, max was a boy! and we were ready for having a boy! and we looked at all the boy stuff, and talked about rites of passage, and things we were going to do with him. (thadd is really into "raising boys" and has read just about EVERY book on the subject.) so, when we got pregnant again, (even though we both thought right off the bat it was a girl), i just assumed it would be a boy again.
2) that somehow, it would lessen the loss of max if i could have another son. that the hole in my heart could be filled by another little boy. realistically i know that this is crazy... and that max will always have a special place in my heart... can anyone relate to this? do you know what i mean? i guess that it is just an "unmet expectation".... it's an open ended chapter in my life. i
guess numbers 1 & 2 are really part of the same.
thadd, on the other hand, really has made the switch! (and originally he was the one who wanted the boy!) he's talking about tea parties and dating rules and all sorts of stuff. he's rubbing my belly and singing to her and feeling the kicks and watching my belly bounce when she's going crazy in there. it's helping me to be more excited, and i'm thankful to him for that. (he even wants to go clothes shopping... he points out the cute stuff.)
overall, i know we are extremely blessed to have this little bird and we are truly happy that she is healthy. gender disappointment is stupid. and as soon as i'm over it, i'll let you know.
4.19.2009
april 19- a happy day
today wren is starting week 21. most of you know this was the week that max died. we had already found out that there were problems in week 20... and by a few days into week 21 he was gone.
as i look forward to meeting wren, and the rest of the pregnancy... i now have a confidence that i didn't have before... and a hope that maybe, just maybe, everything could turn out ok. i don't think i'll be at peace with having her until i hold her in my arms- and then, i'm sure, a whole new set of worries will be on my heart! :)
tonight we spoke in our small group about prayer, what it is, why we do it, what it can accomplish. in the end i know that god's will supersedes my own... and that whatever is supposed to happen is just exactly what happens. i pray daily for the health of my daughter, hoping that god will see to her safety (and salvation someday). what an amazing avenue we have in prayer! most importantly for me now, i realize that i can cause a change in situations through my pleas to the lord, and that i can give my worries to him. it doesn't do me a bit of good to lose sleep worrying about this little bird.... but it does give me peace to come to that understanding. only god can see to the outcome of our situation.
with that in mind i ask that you all continue in faithful prayers for our wren. (and me too i suppose) that we can make it through as long as possible without any complications. more importantly though, that we can have peace and reliance on the will of our lord.
as i look forward to meeting wren, and the rest of the pregnancy... i now have a confidence that i didn't have before... and a hope that maybe, just maybe, everything could turn out ok. i don't think i'll be at peace with having her until i hold her in my arms- and then, i'm sure, a whole new set of worries will be on my heart! :)
tonight we spoke in our small group about prayer, what it is, why we do it, what it can accomplish. in the end i know that god's will supersedes my own... and that whatever is supposed to happen is just exactly what happens. i pray daily for the health of my daughter, hoping that god will see to her safety (and salvation someday). what an amazing avenue we have in prayer! most importantly for me now, i realize that i can cause a change in situations through my pleas to the lord, and that i can give my worries to him. it doesn't do me a bit of good to lose sleep worrying about this little bird.... but it does give me peace to come to that understanding. only god can see to the outcome of our situation.
with that in mind i ask that you all continue in faithful prayers for our wren. (and me too i suppose) that we can make it through as long as possible without any complications. more importantly though, that we can have peace and reliance on the will of our lord.
4.16.2009
april 15- 11:47 pm
i'm sooo nervous! i can't wait until tomorrow. i hope and pray that this baby is healthy. :/ my stomach is in knots.
3.20.2009
march 18- boogie board meets belly
i had a little scare today while enjoying some beach fun. i had never successfully boogie boarded before. (and by that i guess i mean "caught a wave".) so, after living in hawaii for a year i decided to figure out exactly what people were doing that was fun.
alicia and i had a great time.. catching many, many waves- and it was SOOO fun!
one time the board tipped forward, planting itself in the sand, and the wave took me right over it, hitting my belly right on the stationary board.(leave it to me to get injured on a boogie board!)
i freaked out a little. my belly was sore for a while... but i still felt random kicks (which is all i've felt so far)... so everything is probably ok.
i have an appointment this week, so i'll be double checking with my doctor to make sure everything is good.
alicia and i had a great time.. catching many, many waves- and it was SOOO fun!
one time the board tipped forward, planting itself in the sand, and the wave took me right over it, hitting my belly right on the stationary board.(leave it to me to get injured on a boogie board!)
i freaked out a little. my belly was sore for a while... but i still felt random kicks (which is all i've felt so far)... so everything is probably ok.
i have an appointment this week, so i'll be double checking with my doctor to make sure everything is good.
2.26.2009
feb 26- the nervous nancy in me
fear is the mind killer. (yes, i'm that much of a nerd.)
if i let it, fear could really consume me for the next few months. i've really been trying to focus on positive things... to think about things that are good and pure... to have faith that everything is going to be ok- no matter how things turn out. it is hard! but it's something that thadd and i are helping each other with everyday.
it's interesting how we deal with our worries in such a different way. thadd really didn't seem excited about the pregnancy from about week 4 until about this week. (he was, of course, excited when we first found out.) and by excited i mean outwardly giddy like he was with max. i, on the otherhand, started a blog and threw myself into this pregnancy whole heartedly. somehow thinking my dedication would keep the baby healthy. :) who knows the right answer? pregnancy after loss, especially multiple losses, is such an individual experience. even if you've been through it (and i've recieved so much help from families who have) how you've handled things and the way you view things is always so different from another person. so it's not surprising that a man and a woman in the SAME family would handle it differently. now thadd's reading all the books again, coming up with "did you knows?" about the baby's growth.. he's touching my belly and chasing me with a camera. it's nice change of pace for us both to be at the same level of excitement once again.
but, excited as i am, i've lately been giving over to my nervousness more than i should! i feel bad, i've already emailed my doctor- THIS WEEK! i bet i'm not the only crazy patient she has either. i feel bad for being a little crazy, but i just need someone to say, "chill out!"....and... maybe another ultrasound just for my own comfort.... :)
if i let it, fear could really consume me for the next few months. i've really been trying to focus on positive things... to think about things that are good and pure... to have faith that everything is going to be ok- no matter how things turn out. it is hard! but it's something that thadd and i are helping each other with everyday.
it's interesting how we deal with our worries in such a different way. thadd really didn't seem excited about the pregnancy from about week 4 until about this week. (he was, of course, excited when we first found out.) and by excited i mean outwardly giddy like he was with max. i, on the otherhand, started a blog and threw myself into this pregnancy whole heartedly. somehow thinking my dedication would keep the baby healthy. :) who knows the right answer? pregnancy after loss, especially multiple losses, is such an individual experience. even if you've been through it (and i've recieved so much help from families who have) how you've handled things and the way you view things is always so different from another person. so it's not surprising that a man and a woman in the SAME family would handle it differently. now thadd's reading all the books again, coming up with "did you knows?" about the baby's growth.. he's touching my belly and chasing me with a camera. it's nice change of pace for us both to be at the same level of excitement once again.
but, excited as i am, i've lately been giving over to my nervousness more than i should! i feel bad, i've already emailed my doctor- THIS WEEK! i bet i'm not the only crazy patient she has either. i feel bad for being a little crazy, but i just need someone to say, "chill out!"....and... maybe another ultrasound just for my own comfort.... :)
2.17.2009
feb 14- mini breakdown (hard to write, hard to read)
i was on the way to pick up thadd tonight... and for some reason the fact that i'm pregnant really hit me for the first time... and the implications of that really hit me. i began thinking about my time in the hospital (about 2 weeks) and that led me to contemplate what the most horrific part of that experience was. (i know, right? what a great train of thought!)
there were many things that were hard about that experience. i thought first about the pain of my major organs shutting down. (since that's what i felt first.) they tried to convince me that it was gas- believe me, liver failure doesn't feel like gas! that pain was like nothing i've ever felt. it felt like someone had reached into my abdomen and was wrenching my liver out. but that wasn't the worst.
after i was admitted i was on so many meds i don't even really remember the whole week following. i know many people came to visit. amy was there...betty came, and my mom, and my husband... but i couldn't really keep one day straight from the next. even the actual loss of max... it was really not something that i dealt with for another week or so. so that wasn't the most horrific experience while at the hospital. and from the time they induced me it was several days before i delivered.
the labor... now that was painful. i was on fentanyl... which is a pretty strong opioid.. so it made me tweek out a little. i was itching like crazy. so they gave me benadryl. that made me sleepy, but stopped the itching. i guess that someone decided that benadryl wasn't the best... so they gave me something else ( i have no idea what)... and that actually counter acted the fentanyl and made the pain more pronounced than if i had been on nothing at all. (thanks, right?) but even the actual labor wasn't so bad. i mean, it really hurt... but it gave me confidence that i can have natural childbirth in the future and be ok. and it was something that i knew had to happen.. and it really was a starting over point in a way. i needed to have max, in order to let him go.
the worst part of it all, hands down, was the magnesium sulphate. which is a little weird. at the time i really just muscled through it... but looking back it made me really scared. i don't want that again. maybe it just really stands out as a representation of the whole experience.. .but as i was driving i was brought to tears with fear of being in the hospital... and the feeling of being put on that stuff again. i don't know if any of you have ever been on it before...(i would love to know if you have).. but being on it (properly) isn't so bad... it's the PUTTING you on it that is the kicker. it feels like your whole body has been lit on fire from the inside... like they're pumping acid into your veins. (and no, i'm not exaggerating. it's terrible.) once your body adjusts to it you just feel really lethargic. (the first night they gave me too high of a dose- i couldn't lift my head and was drooling out of my mouth. i realized how people who have no control over their bodies feel-it was incredibly frustrating.) when on the right dosage i could still sort of move around... with a little help to roll over and such... i think the reason that this stands out in my mind is because i was taken off of it about 3 times and put back on. if i had just been on it for the whole time i think the experience would have been much easier. (because as i said, it's the initial putting you on it that is so dreadfully uncomfortable.) but every time i was taken off i would have mini- seizures or be hyperreflexive... and back on the mag-sulphate for me.
whew. so... after thinking about it rationally, i realize that a)i'm probably not going to get eclampsia again, and b) if i get pre-eclampsia, i prbably will not get hellp syndrome... and c) even if i do... i would be ok- even if they had to put me on the meds again.
that's the decision we made when we decided to have another child. so as i would never hope to lose another child, or go through any of the things we went through with max, i am ready for whatever happens. that's sort of what this life is... just being ready, and accepting the things we cannot change. i hope and pray for the health of my child and myself daily... i pray for wisdom that thadd and i might make good decisions about our future in every regard... but in the end god's will will be done, despite our decisions. (and don't forget time and chance happen to everyone- ecc. 9.11. i don't care for the view that god is micro- managing every aspect of our lives. i'm not saying he isn't, i'm just saying we have to be careful what we attribute to him since we can't know what exactly he's setting in motion and what is happening randomly.)
i get so many people that say.. "how could god let this happen"...or even christians who say "i don't know how you're so strong." maybe they're just trying to compliment me. but really when i look at it in a big picture way... i realize, maybe more in times of tragedy than in times of joy, that this life is really only for one purpose- to serve god. and all the other things that happen along the way- good or bad- are just incidental... it's how we deal with these things that makes us who we are. we can draw on a relationship with god for strength and comfort... or we can let a tragedy paralyze us. i realize that if we lose another baby it will be a devastating blow to our marriage, to our families, it will be extremely disheartening and honestly i don't know where we will go from there. but, that said, it is a possibility, and one that we have to come to terms with. i'm not especially strong... or even especially enlightened in the "big picture"... but i do realize that bad things happen to good people (and bad) everyday... that god's love isn't about me being happy and fulfilled only here on earth... this earth is about me being happy and fulfilled with only god's love. everything else is just a blessing.
there were many things that were hard about that experience. i thought first about the pain of my major organs shutting down. (since that's what i felt first.) they tried to convince me that it was gas- believe me, liver failure doesn't feel like gas! that pain was like nothing i've ever felt. it felt like someone had reached into my abdomen and was wrenching my liver out. but that wasn't the worst.
after i was admitted i was on so many meds i don't even really remember the whole week following. i know many people came to visit. amy was there...betty came, and my mom, and my husband... but i couldn't really keep one day straight from the next. even the actual loss of max... it was really not something that i dealt with for another week or so. so that wasn't the most horrific experience while at the hospital. and from the time they induced me it was several days before i delivered.
the labor... now that was painful. i was on fentanyl... which is a pretty strong opioid.. so it made me tweek out a little. i was itching like crazy. so they gave me benadryl. that made me sleepy, but stopped the itching. i guess that someone decided that benadryl wasn't the best... so they gave me something else ( i have no idea what)... and that actually counter acted the fentanyl and made the pain more pronounced than if i had been on nothing at all. (thanks, right?) but even the actual labor wasn't so bad. i mean, it really hurt... but it gave me confidence that i can have natural childbirth in the future and be ok. and it was something that i knew had to happen.. and it really was a starting over point in a way. i needed to have max, in order to let him go.
the worst part of it all, hands down, was the magnesium sulphate. which is a little weird. at the time i really just muscled through it... but looking back it made me really scared. i don't want that again. maybe it just really stands out as a representation of the whole experience.. .but as i was driving i was brought to tears with fear of being in the hospital... and the feeling of being put on that stuff again. i don't know if any of you have ever been on it before...(i would love to know if you have).. but being on it (properly) isn't so bad... it's the PUTTING you on it that is the kicker. it feels like your whole body has been lit on fire from the inside... like they're pumping acid into your veins. (and no, i'm not exaggerating. it's terrible.) once your body adjusts to it you just feel really lethargic. (the first night they gave me too high of a dose- i couldn't lift my head and was drooling out of my mouth. i realized how people who have no control over their bodies feel-it was incredibly frustrating.) when on the right dosage i could still sort of move around... with a little help to roll over and such... i think the reason that this stands out in my mind is because i was taken off of it about 3 times and put back on. if i had just been on it for the whole time i think the experience would have been much easier. (because as i said, it's the initial putting you on it that is so dreadfully uncomfortable.) but every time i was taken off i would have mini- seizures or be hyperreflexive... and back on the mag-sulphate for me.
whew. so... after thinking about it rationally, i realize that a)i'm probably not going to get eclampsia again, and b) if i get pre-eclampsia, i prbably will not get hellp syndrome... and c) even if i do... i would be ok- even if they had to put me on the meds again.
that's the decision we made when we decided to have another child. so as i would never hope to lose another child, or go through any of the things we went through with max, i am ready for whatever happens. that's sort of what this life is... just being ready, and accepting the things we cannot change. i hope and pray for the health of my child and myself daily... i pray for wisdom that thadd and i might make good decisions about our future in every regard... but in the end god's will will be done, despite our decisions. (and don't forget time and chance happen to everyone- ecc. 9.11. i don't care for the view that god is micro- managing every aspect of our lives. i'm not saying he isn't, i'm just saying we have to be careful what we attribute to him since we can't know what exactly he's setting in motion and what is happening randomly.)
i get so many people that say.. "how could god let this happen"...or even christians who say "i don't know how you're so strong." maybe they're just trying to compliment me. but really when i look at it in a big picture way... i realize, maybe more in times of tragedy than in times of joy, that this life is really only for one purpose- to serve god. and all the other things that happen along the way- good or bad- are just incidental... it's how we deal with these things that makes us who we are. we can draw on a relationship with god for strength and comfort... or we can let a tragedy paralyze us. i realize that if we lose another baby it will be a devastating blow to our marriage, to our families, it will be extremely disheartening and honestly i don't know where we will go from there. but, that said, it is a possibility, and one that we have to come to terms with. i'm not especially strong... or even especially enlightened in the "big picture"... but i do realize that bad things happen to good people (and bad) everyday... that god's love isn't about me being happy and fulfilled only here on earth... this earth is about me being happy and fulfilled with only god's love. everything else is just a blessing.
2.06.2009
feb 6- watching wiggles
it was so amazing over the past few weeks to see the gummy bear grow arms and legs, and then today... to see them moving around!
i had a stomach virus last week. which is not what you want- trust me. apparently i have to get it about once a year. so i spent about 12 hours in the hospital and got 4 bags of fluids. my bilirubin levels were elevated, so i got to get transported to the hospital (from the clinic) in an ambulance. woo-hoo! riding backwards in an ambulance, pregnant, with a stomach virus, on hawaiian roads.. this is also an experience i'll tell you to skip.
they never did find out why my levels were elevated... said it just could be random. so hopefully everything is good with that.
i'm still having some odd cravings and aversions. i guess i'm just going to have to get used to passing on steak for at least the next few months. i've started eating ketchup on my eggs- which i haven't done since i was about 13. and i really can't stand the taste of soda. i keep thinking "mmm.. i'd really like a coke" then i get it and i can only drink a couple of sips.. it's just too sweet and syrupy. ick.
thadd is convinced that the fleck is a girl. mostly due to the fact that i've been a little moody. just a little. with max, and all my prior pregnancies i've been super sweet and so considerate. just as loving as can be. notsomuch this time. :) but i'm trying to not go all crazy pregnant woman on him. :)
i've been having really crazy dizzy spells lately too. i guess i'm like a victorian era woman... just swooning while i'm with child. the doc said it's normal. probably due to all the extra blood my body is starting to have to pump around. he said just not to exert myself, get up slowly... the usual.
i am still periodically having spotting. in fact i was very nervous about my ultrasound today.. that things might not turn out so great. but they did. and the doctor said that some people spot their whole pregnancy.. etc.etc. blah blah... doesn't make me feel any better... blah blah. but at least i'm confident for today. and that's really what i have to do. just take it one day at a time.
as i mentioned above... the weekly ultrasounds should make you jealous. watching the baby grow in such a detailed way is really an amazing experience. we're really happy to be able to follow this baby so closely.
i've had my ob registration appointment. (where they order bloodwork, and you do a ton of paperwork.) and will have my first real ob appt. on feb 20. i got the bloodwork done today. i think they took a pint and a half.
my computer is still on the lam. but i should have it back hopefully early next week.. so i'll be able to keep more updates on here.
again, thanks for all of your support!
i scanned in all my recent pictures- but the lab here on base doesn't have a very good scanner. i'm just going to wait. sorry! i promise to have them up next week! 4 more pictures then!
i had a stomach virus last week. which is not what you want- trust me. apparently i have to get it about once a year. so i spent about 12 hours in the hospital and got 4 bags of fluids. my bilirubin levels were elevated, so i got to get transported to the hospital (from the clinic) in an ambulance. woo-hoo! riding backwards in an ambulance, pregnant, with a stomach virus, on hawaiian roads.. this is also an experience i'll tell you to skip.
they never did find out why my levels were elevated... said it just could be random. so hopefully everything is good with that.
i'm still having some odd cravings and aversions. i guess i'm just going to have to get used to passing on steak for at least the next few months. i've started eating ketchup on my eggs- which i haven't done since i was about 13. and i really can't stand the taste of soda. i keep thinking "mmm.. i'd really like a coke" then i get it and i can only drink a couple of sips.. it's just too sweet and syrupy. ick.
thadd is convinced that the fleck is a girl. mostly due to the fact that i've been a little moody. just a little. with max, and all my prior pregnancies i've been super sweet and so considerate. just as loving as can be. notsomuch this time. :) but i'm trying to not go all crazy pregnant woman on him. :)
i've been having really crazy dizzy spells lately too. i guess i'm like a victorian era woman... just swooning while i'm with child. the doc said it's normal. probably due to all the extra blood my body is starting to have to pump around. he said just not to exert myself, get up slowly... the usual.
i am still periodically having spotting. in fact i was very nervous about my ultrasound today.. that things might not turn out so great. but they did. and the doctor said that some people spot their whole pregnancy.. etc.etc. blah blah... doesn't make me feel any better... blah blah. but at least i'm confident for today. and that's really what i have to do. just take it one day at a time.
as i mentioned above... the weekly ultrasounds should make you jealous. watching the baby grow in such a detailed way is really an amazing experience. we're really happy to be able to follow this baby so closely.
i've had my ob registration appointment. (where they order bloodwork, and you do a ton of paperwork.) and will have my first real ob appt. on feb 20. i got the bloodwork done today. i think they took a pint and a half.
my computer is still on the lam. but i should have it back hopefully early next week.. so i'll be able to keep more updates on here.
again, thanks for all of your support!
i scanned in all my recent pictures- but the lab here on base doesn't have a very good scanner. i'm just going to wait. sorry! i promise to have them up next week! 4 more pictures then!
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