august 19- hospital diaries

so, today i paid $15 dollars to update my blog. sheesh! haven't these people heard of wi-fi???!!! it seems like a hospital should have a hotspot here somewhere. but, alas, until that happens the updates will be intermittent at best. sorry.

so, this is day 6 or something of living out of a suitcase, sleeping on crappy sheets in an adjustable bed, and eating horrendous hospital food. for those of you that are wondering, hospital food + army dining facility= nothing edible for days. i've posted a question on my preemie mom board looking for tips on how they survived living at a hospital for weeks or months. it looks like i'll be here another month or so. sigh. i'd really hoped she'd be coming home on her due date. i had that idea in my mind. please don't ask me when she's coming home! (of course, if you read the blog then you already know... hmmm.. maybe i should just make a t-shirt or something for everyone else who doesn't read the blog. haha!) it doesn't upset me really.. just more depresses me to think about it. AND it seems absolute that she will be coming home on oxygen.
funny story: wren does qualify for SSI... a whole $60/month. i told the social worker her time was worth more than that! the paperwork is just too much of a hassle for that amount.

which brings me to the meeting i had with the social worker today. i found out tons of useful information. i never in my life thought i'd need the help of government programs... but here i am. (and they balk at me for not signing up for wic.) i just can't imagine taking those benefits when we don't absolutely need them. (though, don't get me wrong, we do QUALIFY for wic! we're not upper middle class or anything. :) so, it looks like we'll be using EI (early intervention) to get OT and PT and whatever else she needs through the state. they say that it's best if those people come to the house to do their therapy... which means i have to go through the state programs. anyway, she also said that she's worried about me moving so much. (well, for lack of a better response, duh!) as though i'm not concerned about 6 plane flights or more in the next year or less. and i've got to move my mutt and the devil cat too. so it's me, a baby on oxygen, a dog, a cat, a carryon, and a stroller and playpen... can one woman do it all? we'll see. to the point. the social worker said that wren will DEFINITELY be on oxygen when we go home end of october. she said she'd PROBABLY be on oxygen in march when we move, and MAYBE in september. that's a feakin' year away people! a year on oxygen! i'm really not ready for that. i just can't get my head around it. so, i'm going to choose to put that on the back burner until i have to deal with it, and pray she heals up quicker than that. that's a great way to deal with possible issues- ignore them until they smack you in the face. but i've decided, that's just what i'm going to do. so there.

the head ultrasound came back clear! yay for healthy brains!

she was a trooper today at her 10 am feeding- i got 18 minutes out of her! (or rather, she got 18 minutes out of me!) this feeding has been nothing but trouble for a week. i'm glad she finally decided that i'm right, and that she should in fact, eat!
i am pretty depressed about how much i'm having to miss to feed her. you term mommies are so lucky to be able to lug around your kid wherever you go. next time you think that the kid is really to heavy to be convenient, just imagine everytime they had to eat you had to go to your local hospital. that really mucks up your plans! i've missed worship for a week or so now, leaving early, coming late... and social functions as well. i'm looking to fill my social calendar.... so text me to sign up for a lunch date or something. (a big thanks to diana and randy for some dixie grill today... its nice to get away from scrubs for a bit.)

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