i have to say, i really expected that i would have to ease into the mommy thing... but i've been pleasantly surprised. not much adjustment was needed at all. after all the separation and worry and experiences of the nicu, bringing her home just completed the picture... all was right in the world.
taking our first nap together was amazing! it was literally the best sleep i've ever had in my life. no more worries... i nursed her lying down, then covered her up with my skirt.. and we both dozed off.. giving daddy time to take a picture.
i will say there are logistical challenges that have nothing to do with feeding etc.. just trying to organize the
cords!!! ugh, my house looks like a best buy. well, really best buy looks better- maybe i should have them come and organize me. and dealing with the oxygen and the monitor in the stroller every time i get her out. (and need to just run in and do something really quickly.)
yesterday we had our follow up. she was up only a few grams, .2%. they said this is ok because usually they'll lose weight the first day or so home. i was a little bummed because it makes me feel like i'm not doing as good of a job on my own-without all my nurse friends to guide me. (if you remember, she has been gaining about 2-3oz/day lately.) she weighs in at a whopping 5lb 13oz. she'll be 6 before we know it. there's another follow up on the 23 for a weight check etc. this is also the date of the synagis vaccine clinic, and a pt/ot consult. her daddy and i are both anxious to weigh her before then.. i think we'll have to go visit our friends in the nicu and accidentally drop her on the scale while we're there.
she had an ROP exam yesterday- still no ROP! praise the good lord! they remain shocked. the amount of oxygen she was on initially really guaranteed that she would get it... she showed them. her eyes are almost in the clear. the opthamologist said that a termie's eyes would mature within a few weeks of birth- so we expect she'll be maturing soon. they want to do another exam. *sigh* she's been diagnosed "immature" two exams in a row.. and there's nothing they can do to prevent it if she got it. they'd just watch it until it became bad enough to need intervention. i talked to the opthamologist and eeked out an extra week for her. he really wants to see her again. i just hate to subject her to that when she's so far been doing fine. (and it's really not possible to develop to stage 3 in a few weeks.)
she might be trying to kill me. these first few nights have been a little trying. (days too for that matter.) she's gone from a pretty much every 4 hour feeding schedule to wanting to eat every 2 hours or so.. even 30 minutes apart for 5 minutes each the first night. this is not a 7-11 dear little bird... there's no topping off every few minutes.. i want you to get serious about eating- and get a full meal in your belly... we both need that!! today was a little better, and i think we're finding our groove. babywise here i come! just for the record: to everyone who said it would be different when i had kids of my own, you were right. it is SOOO hard to hear her cry. it makes me cry! but, that said, we're still going to be getting on a schedule... and learning the art of self soothing. :) i'm going to cherish these early days though... after all, her adjusted age is just 2 weeks old. can you believe it? but in the next month or so i really plan to have her whipped into shape, for a little while at least. :)
my dear sweet husband has been AMAZING! he's happy to take the hand off when he comes home from the frazzled new mommy.. even cleaning up around the house and really being a trooper with helping out. (despite his 0430 mornings.) how we thought that i would handle the weekdays so he could sleep i'll never know. when you have the baby in the same room as the parents- no one sleeps! haha.. but i wouldn't trade my co-sleeper for the world! it's SO great to just be able to roll over and comfort her, or pull her over to me to nurse, then put her back without my feet touching the floor. (i'm eying the arm's reach cocoon swing next.)
today i tried the sling for the first time around the house. i'm a little nervous about how it will work logistically while running errands and such... me with a baby on the front, oxygen on my back and a diaper bag over my shoulder. but, she LOVES it. she was being a little crazy, i popped her in, and she was calm as can be.
speaking of errands. we've been to church, and i've been to target, and back to the hospital. (i delivered cupcakes, for wren's 100th day of life, to the nicu and labor and delivery.) target was a bust. she started crying- like WAY crying.. so i picked her up and held her and comforted her, pushing the stroller (with all the equipment) with my elbows... putting my purchases in the stroller. (being that i couldn't really push a stroller AND a cart.) all the while embarrassed to have a crying baby, and worried they're going
to think i'm stealing what's in my stroller! i think outings are begging for daddy help.
now to the oxygen problems. well, number one, they didn't deliver it when they said they were going to. (insert long argument, eventually ending in the branch manager for the med supply company telling me she would send a manager to be there within an hour with the tank. this mommy wasn't fooling around. they wouldn't discharge her until we had the tank at home- so they needed to get on it!) then, we somehow didn't make it home with the plastic bag that had the wall plug for the pulse ox machine. in that bag were 3 of these:
apparently, tricare only covers 4 pulse ox probes per month. let me tell you, with an infant, that ain't much. (thank you tricare- yet again.) and, after the 1 that we ended up with failed this morning, i called to get more, only to find that they cost $114/each. yes, you're doing the math correctly, one of them lasted about 3 days. so, the doc and social worker are working on getting my limit raised with a waiver of some sort. not having the monitor is a little terrifying at night and while driving (by myself). having not had the cord for about 3 hours one night we experienced a few frantic moments. (we ended up buying a computer monitor that took the same wall plug. we're planning on getting a replacement from radio shack that will be a little cheaper. shhh... don't tell our oxygen company, ok?)
don't let her fool you.. she's secretly out to drive me crazy. :)