i'm laying in puke, it's just easier this way

i don't want to wakethe sleeping baby i'm holding...

getting used to our new addition has been an interesting process- one that i have to say i haven't quite completed yet. here's my confession:

my house that threw up baby

so, lets just say that i don't have the laundry under control right now. i decided that i had to get some sleep at some point.. after almost falling asleep while driving last week. my solution: pick one chore a day. i'm actually doing pretty good with that so far. it keeps me a little more tolerable and a little more relaxed... while i beat into a bleary eyed submission the stressed part of me that's aghast at my house.
all i can say is.. whew.. what a wild ride. i wouldn't trade this little bird for anything in the world..but lordy is she wearing me out. it's nice though, feeling like a real mommy. like a normal mommy... a little like a termie mommy. it makes it easy for me to almost forget the past 3 months. (until i see wren's little friend william, born a week after she was, and weighing in at twice her weight or so- then i remember.)
even though i'm sleepy, covered in vomit, and my sheets have pee on them... i embrace my wild, unstraightened hair.. i cherish my crazy eyed midnight feeds...and i absolutely love that overwhelming feeling of not having it all together. because as strange as it sounds.. i have a lot of stuff to hold together... and that means i have a lot of blessings on my plate right now. i liken times like these in my life to riding a bike downhill with no brakes... you just hold on and hope for the best and try to avoid any major obstacles. you're going to get to the end one way or the other.
check out this baby fat... we're on the verge of wrist rolls people!

we've got our synagis (RSV vaccine) appointment on wednesday... she's also going to get a regular checkup with weight and whatnot. thadd and i expect she'll be close to 7lbs! what a chunk!
and the bigger she gets the less oxygen she'll need. which is why yesterday when she pulled the cannula completely away from her face, she was still sating at 85! woo-hoo! off of oxygen soon... lets hope! our move is quickly approaching- sometime in mid-late october.. please pray that she'll kick the stuff before then... moving on oxygen... ugh. but if we have to do it we have to do it..it's just all part of that downhill bike ride...


Monika said...

yay for baby fat, it's so exciting to start seeing that!!! keeping Wren in my prayers :)

(got to your blog from your post on the preemie yahoo group, btw)

Anonymous said...

Great post.

That's one piece of advice I always try to gently tell my friends expecting a baby.........you are going to have to accept that sometimes, laundry (or dishes or a clean bathroom) just isn't important.

She looks SO different from the photos of when she was first born. She LOOKS like a termie! An adorable one at that too. :)