2.12.2010

so, we may go a little nuts

about having a preemie...
losing our full term pregnancy and...
losing our "ideal delivery"...
spending too many hours in the nicu...
not spending enough hours in the nicu...
leaving the hospital without our babies...
holding our babies for the first time...
all the acronyms you can imagine, and some you can't: C/S, IVH, PDA, NEC, ROP...
the privilege of changing diapers...
caring for our baby...
about germs in general...
the wonderment of a baby nipple feeding...
pumping all the time...
our babies' isolette linens matching...
finding preemie clothes that make us feel like we have "real" babies...
having a baby shower- at all...
finding the perfect carseatstrollercribrockingchairnursingpillowfillintheblank...
taking our babies home...
not having a monitor to tell if they're ok...
not hearing beeping for the first time in months as we watch them sleep...
hand sanitizer...
your "allergy cough"...
your runny nose...
about germs in general...
cigarette smoke...
anyone under 5 feet tall being within 5 feet...
strangers wanting to touch our sweet babies...
about germs in general...
our babies gaining weight...
our babies' matching clothes...
taking pictures...
the march of dimes...
termie moms complaining...
doctors' appointments...
insurance bills...
showing the nicu we appreciate them...
reading everything we can...
message boards and blogs...
experiencing parenthood...
trying to connect with other people in our situation...
adjusted age...
developmental issues...
about germs in general...
future pregnancies...
future everything...

about cherishing every single moment.

and all of this is completely normal.

for friends and family, please just give preemie parents a crazypass. we deal with many things that termie parents can't imagine. we carry worry, guilt, doubt, fear and a sense of being overwhelmed with us almost every hour of every day.

7 comments:

Christi said...

I get this...you've heard "here's your sign"...well "here's your pass"! :)

Jessica B said...

Does the crazy pass expire at some point? :)

wrensmommy said...

@jessica- i would say, once our babies are older, totally healthy, and we have all the kids we wanted... then you can pull our crazypasses. :) but i think we"ll always be changed from our experiences...

Elayne said...

I couldn't have said this better myself. Every line applies to me! I really need that crazypass.

Monika @ Lovely Bookshelf said...

(((hugs))) I soooo needed to read this today, thanks!

Strawberry said...

WOW, this made my day! I also needed this. I can relate to every single thing you wrote. I just came across your blog (from the Preemie Store on Facebook) I look forward to following you.

David, Trish and Robbie Cox said...

WELL SAID!!