june 1

I got moved back to l & d... only this time I got the broom closet that has NO reception! so i'm not able to get/recieve calls txts anymore. (even periodically). they moved me Monday I think... back up here to this ward. my bps went back up- as did the visual changes... seeing spots and whatnot. Monday night was a bad bad night. I was back on the mag sulfate... and I had the same headache I've had for a while... at about a level 8-9 out of 10. one of those "I'd rather die headaches". it faded in the morning... but they treated me with roxicet and nubane. (sp?) to try and relieve most of the pain.
all of my labs are still normal. praise god! and it seems all my organs are functioning fine. I had an ultrasound to check for clots yesterday. so basically feel like I'm wasting these poor peolple's time because everything says I should be healthy. (except my random pain/bp issues) but it does beg the question- when do I come back? clearly my body can have allthe signs for a while without actually manifesting the disease... soo- when I'm at home and getsome high bps -should I rush in? I could be in liver failure- or fine for another few weeks (apparently)..
yesterday they gave me a pic line. (sp?) it's usually for chronically ill/ elderly/diabetic patients... but they also wanted to punish me before I left. :) really it's a good thing.. but I don't have to like it! (it's a line that goes in my arm and dumps out just before my heart. it's for IV/blood draws/ and antibiotics/nutrition if I need it. those of you who know me can imagine how disgusting the thought is to me- I have a hard time with IVs.. but as long as I don't look at it/ think about it/ and let thadd do the care for it/ I might not go insane! it's freaking me out!!! it should last the remainder of my pregnancy. it's pretty permanent. so- no more sticks for me! sticks for me.
speaking of that.. my new "plan" is a daily plan. dr. hill said that today we'll make a plan for tomorrow- and the next day plan for Thursday. she said we're taking tiny baby a steps. so, hopefully I'll be able to go home soon. as long as the pre-eclampsia stays at bay. (thank you lord!) they're "leaving me alone" for 24 hours"... then they'll start doing labs again.
it really makes no sense to me - or the docs- how I can feel sick but have normal labs... it's like "fake-out".... my bps the last few days have been fine too- 116/60s... totally normal! (from the 150s/90s)
I'm ready to transition home! I feel stupid being up here when I'm "fine". but definitely feel like everyday is a gift to wren at this point. praying that the abdominal pain and headache stay away!
I'm shooting for a diagnosis of divine intervention. :) as long as those organs stay quiet wren gets more time inside! I just wish I could go home!