may 15- good news + bad news = fair news

so, today was my growth scan... and we didn't exactly hear what we wanted to. we'll start with the good news:

wren's organs are all fine. kidneys, heart, brain etc. everything is where it should be, doing what it should be doing. :) what a blessing!!!
her stomach is measuring right on target for gestational age. the doctor (not the normal high risk i see, but the one over her who monitors my case) said that babies in stress typically measure small around the belly, and larger in the head. this is because all of the nutrients go to the brain/heart, and they don't put on the belly weight. so it's a good sign that her belly is round.
her blood flow to all of her organs is good. as well as the blood flow through the umbilical cord to her. (this was how we lost max, a blood clot in the umbilical cord.)
the placenta is fine, and all the fluid is at normal levels.
she measured in the 18% today. they said they don't start to worry until babies get under the 10% range.
thadd and i both were small babies... so she has this going for her. if she continues the "growth arc", and just stays a little smaller than normal, but growing... then everything is peachy!
my monitoring will now be a growth scan every other week... and doppler ultrasounds twice a week.


the bad news:

every other measurement (other than the stomach) is about 1-2 weeks under size. the doctor said that this is due to my APS. of course it is no surprise. we expected that she would have growth restriction at some point. we just wish it wasn't showing up so early. if you remember, at the first ultrasound she measured perfectly! which is think is one of the reasons they know that things aren't as they should be.
at my next ultrasound, in 2 weeks, should wren's growth not show the "arc" that they want they will decide a course of action. this could mean one of 2 things. 1) outpatient steroids, with even closer monitoring and possible c-section following at some time. 2) being admitted to the hospital for 24 hour monitoring and given steroids and having a c-section.

the other good news:

the doc said that she could totally make it. she seemed really positive that everything would be ok if they did have to take her so soon. (even now.) of course there are risks, and problems... but with wren having no other problems there's a good chance for her. especially at 27-28 weeks!
it is a bit of a shock for me though... to think... that i could have this little girl in 3 weeks... i don't really know how to process that information! i'm not all that worried about her, i think she'll be ok. i'm not letting myself think about all the complications of coming so early. but, more just the fact that i thought i was going to have about 3 more months... and now it could be 3 weeks! wow. (i need to unpack my house, clean, decorate, clean, buy baby stuff, clean, unpack some more, rest up, and get ready for a possible hospital stay, followed by weeks of visiting my little bird in the nicu. :/)

we got several really cute pictures. thadd's convinced that she has my chin-poor girl! and we even got a 3d one. the tech got some cute shots, but printed out one that wasn't my favorite. (thadd said that wren looked a little like the elephant man.hehe...) but it was really neat to see her in 3d! give me a week to get the pictures up. my house is a wreck (from moving this past weekend.) and i'm still having to use someone else's scanner to scan them in! (my stupid "all in one" clearly doesn't include "scanning" according to the common definition!)

i'll continue my lovenox at 60mg/day and baby aspirin. you guys continue in prayer...

april 20- appointment today (on thadd's birthday-what a present)

so, here's the new news.

bp- good
fundal height- 21 (perfect)
weight- +5lbs (wow, better cut back on the cheetos!)
fetal heart rate-good

anti-D antibody update- it's continuing to go down. it's definitely because of the shot i got in jan. YAY!!!

today i had a TON of questions for my doctor. here's the overview:

-can i do shots in my butt? this was SO funny. when i asked her this question she sort of looked at me a little sad and said, "well, usually not because it has to go into fat, not muscle." to which i replied, "have you seen my butt?"... haha! like it's all muscled out or something. i assured her that, yes, i could find a chunk of fat on my butt to put the injection in. how hilarious! muscle. ha!
-what can i do for hemorrhoids? good 'ol tucks and prep H. here i come!
-what can i do about peeing myself when i sneeze? yeah. so this happened to me the other day. sheesh! i was like "isn't this supposed to be AFTER i have the kid????!!!" but, alas, she said it's really normal due to the shifting of my uterus on the urethra. apparently that weakens the mechanism which keeps us from regularly wetting ourselves. nice, huh? (don't worry, it was only a drop!) haha..
-how will my APS affect my labor? it shouldn't affect it at all! i should be able to have natural childbirth, (as natural as i want it :)... short of pitocin to induce the labor initially.
-why will i be induced? this is mainly for control of my blood thinners. they don't want me to go into labor unplanned and still be taking my regular dosage of blood thinner. being induced, in and of itself will raise my risk of having to have a c-section. i'm totally against this (unless it's necessary), and thadd's with me on it. we really want to do what we can to avoid this. we may decide not to be induced depending on wren's health, my health, and further research.
-sexy pelvic brace- it works like a charm!!! (not so much for sexiness, but for pelvic pain.) and yes, kate, i'm going to wear it! my pelvic pain has been intermittently TERRIBLE. i've heard from some of the ladies i know that this is just caused by the weight of the baby on my pelvic bone. i don't know if wren is just low or what, but sometimes i just can't get rid of this pain! i recommend this "hip band" for all ladies who have this pain. it's amazing!
-cystic fibrosis screening? i haven't taken it yet, but i'll take it this week.
-blood thinning test? did one test today, and will have one every few weeks.
-am i at risk for preterm labor? not any more likely than the average pregnant woman. which means be aware of my body, but i don't have to fret about it.
-at what weeks can i relax about the baby's health? she said that at 24 weeks i can breath a very small sigh of relief. this is when the baby is considered "viable". at 29 weeks the lungs are much more developed and wren will have a much better outlook for her health- this is a small sigh of relief. at 32 weeks i can breath a real sigh of relief! this is pretty much the same as 40 for the baby. all the organs will be developed and the prognosis is just as good! yay!
-should i make any preparations for early delivery? she said i should go ahead and do the walk-through at labor and delivery in the next month or so... so we're going to plan on that. also, we're doing hypno-babies... and we're ordering that this next week to get started early.

that's the new news! thanks for caring... thanks for prayers!

april 5- i'm sure you're dying for an update

my appointment on friday went well. here's the stuff:

bp was good
weight +1lb
baby morris heartbeat doing good
fundal height -1u (i think that's what she said)

my blood didn't come back as thin as they'd like, so she sent in a change on my shots. now i'll be giving myself 2 per day at 30 iu each. (instead of 1 at 40iu) yay for more shots. i mentioned again that it seems to REALLY be hurting lately when i give myself a shot. she basically said that i'm probably turning my belly to hamburger, and that i can feel free to switch to my inner thigh or arm fat. no thanks. i'll stick it out for as long as i can grab hold of something on my middle.

my ultrasound is still set for april 16, so stay tuned to see whether it will be a little ms. morris, or little mr. morris.

as far as the imaginary ice pick that has been randomly jabbed into my crotch, (read:pelvic pain), she said that i can tie something around my waist. she suggested possibly a bedsheet. it doesn't always work for everyone, but if it does they can get me a more formal brace/wrap that will in essence hold the pelvis together. yay! i tried it the other day and it was amazing how much relief it gave. the doc said that it isn't normal to have it so early, but its not a bad sign or anything-just different. (like everything else i've had happen to me!)

the anti-d is most likely the result of the rhogam shot i got in jan. she suggested that in an email earlier last week, but confirmed it in the appt. they'll continue to test me until i register a 0 on the test.

i got a pee test. woo-hoo. everything looks fine there. same with all the bloodwork.

my weight is ok. she said she's not concerned that i'm not gaining much weight.... for my size i can safely gain about 15 pounds on the low side, 30 or so on the high side, before they would worry. it is just odd though, because i've been eating like a heifer. (i have a RAVENOUS appetite now...) i honestly have no idea how i haven't gained 30 lbs already. i brace for it every time i step on the scale!

the kicks are getting more pronounced, particularly after i eat. this kid likes some food... the spicier the better!

the doc did mention "wow, you're really showing now!" when she was taking the heartbeat. i realized this before she told me, since nothing i own fits... including the maternity clothes.

i'll be posting a few more interesting topics in the next day or so.. but for now... i'm exhausted!!!! off to nap.

march 7- doc says... (please feel free to comment. anything to keep this from feeling like a diary.)

my appointment yesterday went well. we got to hear the hearbeat... along with lots of indistinct swishing, which the doctor said was the sound of active baby kicks.
i pretty much did everything but get on my knees and beg for an ultrasound. to no avail. its just not going to happen for at least 3 more weeks. (sigh) i explained to her that it was really just for my peace of mind... i guess that's not a medical reason. :) but she assured me that my monitoring will go up significantly after that next ultrasound. once i get closer to my third trimester.
for now, i'm still having bi-weekly appointments. i've got the next two scheduled... and i'm scheduling the ultrasound next week. (for about 3 weeks out.
the doc was great about answering my questions- many of which i got from concerned friends and family. (as though i'm not neurotic enough! haha!) here's the verdict:

passing out- probably just normal pregnancy related wooziness... but she's checking my blood for iron and such... as well as putting in a consult with neurology. (she was pretty sure it's nothing serious- but better safe than sorry i guess.)
bp- at the appointment my bp was 128/87 which is closer to how it's been running normally at home. she said that's fine. (and so is 100/52 for that matter.) that as long as i'm under 140/90 we're good.
abdominal pain- could be just normal "aches and pains" of pregnancy. but she's going to double check my urine to see if it's an infection. (doesn't feel like one.)
frequent headaches- normal.
shot location (my belly fat is already getting hard to grab onto as it stretches out)- she said i could do the back of my arms. ouch! or the inside of my thigh. double ouch! i'm sticking with the belly for a few more weeks!

i actually weighed in 2lbs less than my last appointment. (which surprised me since i've been eating like a cow lately. that nausea went away and it was like "bring on the buffet!") she said that's ok. she's just going to double check at the next appointment- because i should put on a few pounds in the next few weeks for sure.
and i had a question about my due date. since we graduated from the infertility clinic on the 17th of feb. we should have been about 12 weeks at that time. when i called the nurse (after the whole passing out incident the other day) she said the computer had me at just 13 weeks! i was like, whoa! i'm sure i'm further than that! (secretly i'm dreading it! what if i have to go through weeks 13 and 14 again! i'm always hoping to jump ahead as far as possible... get past 25 weeks as soon as possible.) so i asked the doc about it when we were in yesterday. she did the math again, based on one of my earliest ultrasounds (because my 42 day cycle isn't all that reliable) and put me at 15 weeks today. (which is only a few days off from what i thought i was. new due date: august 30
i'll update with the blood test results, as well as the urine, when i get them back.

coming in 2 weeks..... quad screen & sugar test.

march 3- i'm fine. and how are you?

here's an update on how i'm doing.. since i know how much you care!

----i still have bo. really, really bad bo. i'm sticking to my antibacterial soap, followed by immediate deodorization... it's working.. sorta.
----smells are really the only thing that sets off nausea at this point. whew! i'm so happy to be past the ickiness phase!
----my hair seems to be falling out in clumps. :/ the thick luscious hair of my high school days is long gone. (as though i didn't lose enough in my last pregnancies.. i'm losing more now. i guess this is a recurrent thing.)
----i'm still a little sleepy. but overall i have SO much more energy! thadd and i started a new bike riding plan... hopefully we'll get out of the house more, and i'll get a little more exercise that i have been. (read: anything is more than none.)
----i'm winded just walking up the stairs. not tired, or near muscle failure or anything, just breathing heavy. i guess it's all the extra blood.
----about a week ago i started getting some lower abdominal pains. they aren't cramps. but i'm not sure what they are. i had ligament pain with max, but it wasn't until i was about 19 or 20 weeks. (and to be honest i don't remember exactly what it felt like.) i did read on whattoexpect.com that you can expect to start having ligament pain around weeks 14-15.. which is where i am. so i'm hoping that's all it is. (whatever it is, it seems to be worse when i need to pee.)
----the frequent urination is mostly gone- yay! (for a little while anyway)
----no kicks yet... but maybe some flutters. i'm still undecided.
----the pooch seems to be getting more pronounced everyday! it's like i wake up in the morning and go- "wow, i don't think i was that big yesterday". in fact i was a little worried about it. (i guess most all pregnant women have the fear that they're becoming a fatty.) but i haven't gained any weight. (that i know of yet- my appointment's on friday.) it is getting harder to do my shots since my belly is stretching a bit. (it's much easier to give shots when there's a nice chunk of fat to grab onto and stick. sorry, i guess that might be gross.)
----my dizziness seems to be a little better too. i'm hoping that it's nothing too serious, and that my body finally figured out how to share blood with my brain AND the baby.
----the headaches are coming more frequently though. eek! like, almost everyday i wake up with at least a little one. i think that, like morning sickness, it's probably hormonal since it's occurring the same time everyday. i've been drinking TONS of water... and taking meds when i have to... but they don't usually last past early afternoon.
----i have a poo confession: i'm having diarrhea everyday! at least once! still! icky.... but i suppose it beats constipation. (am i right?) i'm just REALLY trying with all my might to not get hemorrhoids. those SUCK!
----and finally, the forgetfulness. its really been going full force for about 3 weeks now. i can't remember nouns for the life of me! the other day, for instance, i was trying to tell a story and couldn't think of the word 'turnpike'. "it's a road. that you pay to go on. oklahoma has them. they have high speed limits. there's a tollbooth." haha.. it's really funny. thadd and i are actually getting a kick out of this one. it's like being in a permanent game of password with me. :)

feb 23- the appointment

everything went well today. i got a full exam, ick, and everything was where it was supposed to be. they did a pap too. (like, seriously, how many of those things does a girl need?!) my boobs are ok... but i'm supposed to start getting mammograms in a few years, since every woman in my family has had cancer.
after the exam part, i got to go into the dr's office and talk to her for a while about how things will go this time around. she was sooo great. i really love the dr. i have, and she answered all of my questions and is really longsuffering with me.

the game plan:
appointments every 2 weeks for the remainder of the 2nd trimester.
ultrasounds once a month for the remainder of the second trimester.
continue on lovenox and baby aspirin everyday.(my belly says ouch)
taking a set of liver panels and a 24 hour urine sample to get a baseline for comparison later.
possible quad screen. (thadd and i haven't decided if we want that this time around or not.)
beginning 3rd trimester bi-weekly ultrasounds, and fetal heart monitoring at least weekly.