let's get something straight

in most cases, it is not anything the parents (read: mother) did to cause a pre-term delivery. with all the ruckus about the duggars lately, as well as some other worrisome posts by some moms on some message boards i frequent, i think it's time we talk about what really causes preemieness. i mean really.

so, let's talk about what DOESN'T cause it, and lets dump some of that guilt right now ladies:

not going to church. sorry folks. i have to start with that one.. because, well, it's just so absurd. my husband and i being christians, and attending worship pretty regularly.. i'm pretty sure our story would prove that conclusion false. from my research i can't seem to find any correlation between religious practices and preemie babies. (for a more applicable argument to people feel they are christians and believe this, i'd like to draw your attention to job. an example of bad things happening to a good man. also, i'd like to draw your attention to ecclesiastes 9.11 "again, i saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor the bread to the wise, nor the riches to the intelligent, nor the favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to all." i'm not claiming that God never delivered a punishment to people for disobedience.. but the scripture shows us plenty of examples of "time and chance".) not to mention, "going to church" is not even indicative of a relationship or obedient attitude toward God.. it is something many, many, people do once a week to check a box. ugh. there are just so many things wrong with that statement i don't know where to begin. having a preemie isn't God's punishment to sinners, and it isn't some karmic retribution. it often happens to good people, it happens to bible believing christians.. it just happens sometimes.

eating/sleeping/exercising wrong. i'm not saying don't do those things... but i'm saying if you singlehandedly downed that bag of cheetos a week before

time to vote!!

vote for your favorite story

friends, family and complete strangers are welcome to vote

the winning nurse will recieve a tote bag and

almost done with synagis

last wednesday was almost the last shot of the season. they're thinking one more will do it. she also had a bit of a cough... so i went all "over reacting weirdo mom" and asked them to have the doc see her too while we were there for the shot. she apparently has just a little cold. her lungs were clear and she sounded ok... so they said to just watch for increased fever, coughing, lung issues... etc. i'm using the xopenex about once a day if she sounds congested- which is what the pulm said to do for the first year or so- they said to go ahead and keep that up.

she's been teething, so she's got a TON of drool.. like 3 outfits a day worth of drool. she hasn't been sleeping through

valentine's day {not just for lovers}

this is the first year where we've had more than just ourselves to think about... more than just candlelight, hearts and loooooooove.

well, we still have love, but a different type... it's not the lovey-dovey chocolate love.. it's the waking to comfort you while your teeth are trying to break through your gums type of love. it's an adjustment that i find well.. interesting... and am really quite happy about. (if a little clueless.) so, this year, i'm trying to think of what would be appropriate for wren. granted, she's 8 months old, and will never remember, possibly ever care. (as with most of our traditions for babies.) but, since it has a value to me- i've decided to do something.
i'm going to make her a list of sorts of all the things i love about her... what she's doing now, and how she makes me feel. i haven't decided how to preserve it. (i say "preserve" rather than "present" because if i presented it to her she'd just stick it in her mouth.) when i finish it, i'll post about how cute it is. it will undoubtedly be cute. maybe a tin? or a jar? we'll see what i can come up with. (read: find when i google for ideas)
some ideas that are good for 2, in romantic love, can also be adapted for families. like the "list" that i'm doing for wren.. it could just as easily be "things that drive me wild" for my husband.

• take a vacation. as a family... yes.. like we needed another excuse to do that. but, what better time to foster love and affection than valentine's day? being a screwed up kid really turned me into a screwed up adult where love is concerned.. and teaching your kids that time is of value and a great way to show love- rather than gifts- can be life changing. and remember, money isn't what's important. i'm not talking disneyworld here (though that would be fine)... camping in the backyard is just as magical for your 5 year old- i promise!
• do your child's favorite thing. just like your husband would (or should) buy you a spa treatment for a special occasion.. it's nice to remember things your kids wanted to do- but maybe you don't have the time or money for regularly.
• cook heart shaped food. i know- simple right? pancakes, pizza, sandwiches, burgers, veggies, anything that can be cut! easy i know- but kids love it.
• decorate. decorate the house, their bedroom doors, their faces, cookies, cakes, bars or candies... make your OWN valentines. (i know, it's not swinging by wal-mart the night before the school party to grab up the last of the dora boxed sets- but it's meaningful.) it's always fun to get into the mood of the holiday. i have it on good authority that you can NEVER cut too many paper hearts.
• make a list of "sweet" words... talk about when to use them, and how we show people we care. generally this time of year is a good one to talk about feelings.



amberperrodin.com's potato stamped valentines
made with her daughter

• remember fun family times. you can do this like the "reasons i love you"... be creative.. decorate a jar, shoebox, tin... draw a picture, a timeline, or photo collage. what a great tradition to go over every year the favorite times from the year before.
• if you're into history, and making your kids more well rounded.. tell the history of st. valentine.... or, all the histories. the basic idea is that he was loving. (and not the romantic kind.) feel free to omit his death, based on your child's tolerance for beatings and beheadings.
• make a coupon book. (again, same concept as with husband.) a trip to the zoo, to their favorite park or restaurant, date with daddy, movie with mommy.. extra book at bedtime.. you get the idea.
• do something to show love. not just for your family, but for others. make cards for a nursing home, visit a homeless shelter and hand out clothes or food...
• remember your civil servants. take cookies or candies or valentine's to the police department, firemen, bible class teachers and/or elders, widows, and/or special family friends... anyone who isn't often remembered. talk about why you appreciate them, how we show love, and why we show it the way we do.

my husband is still away. so that makes focusing on wren a little easier... it does make creating "family traditions" a little more difficult.

what are your valentine's day traditions?

what to do about announcements

the subject of announcements is a touchy one for most preemie parents. especially for babies that come into the world as micro-preemies... wondering when you'll be able to hold your baby really puts a damper on the usual "we're so excited our baby is here". along with the "we're looking at 3 more months till we can take her home" issue.

some people wait until their baby is cleared of major health risks to send out the announcements. some wait until their little one is completely out of the nicu and home.

i needed the validation as a mother... to do something "normal parents" get to do- send out announcements. (granted, it took me FOREVER! and i didn't get them all sent out- sorry if you didn't get one.. i probably addressed it and it's in a box somewhere. :/ ) one downside to going ahead with sending them out is the stress of the nicu... it really throws a kink in the plans. i'd love to show you ours, but somehow can't find one.. guess i need to go through our household goods to find one to save for the baby book- eh? this is the one we used.. it's from tinyprints.com.

on picture announcements:

we opted for a picture of wren's foot in our hands. many parents, depending on when they send them